March, 2010

Mar 10

Midweek Thoughts – Part 13


Hello Webchunk Reader. Welcome to another fantastic edition of Midweek Thoughts!

I’m pretty stoked about tomorrow being Thursday. After all, Thursday is the first day in a 3-day stretch of days off for me. (Thursday-Friday-Saturday) I’m considering sleeping way in, and then watching movies and eating Pop Chips. Yeah, that sounds like a pretty excellent Thursday to me. heh.

Today’s modern man has a lot of stuff to carry around. Why just today I brought my keys, my wallet, my iPod Touch, my cell phone and my Sudafed to work. It is for this reason that I’m quite fond of cargo pants. Cargo pants are like the male version of the purse. In fact, when I fly somewhere I like to wear cargo pants because it’s like getting an extra carry-on that doesn’t count against the limit. That’s right my friends, I FOUND A LOOPHOLE IN THE SYSTEM! That loophole is cargo pants.

So we’re supposed to have a high of 72 degrees today and 74 degrees tomorrow! That’s pretty great. And I know how important it is to take advantage of this nice weather and get some fresh air. It is for that reason I intend to nap with the window open tomorrow.

Now if you’ll all excuse me, I’m going to eat some fruit snacks.

Mar 10

Mmmm… Fruit Snacks

Fruit snacks are wonderful. If I were in charge of diplomatic meetings, when voices get raised, and shouting matches ensue, I’d break out the fruit snacks. “Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Sit down and eat your fruit snacks,” I would tell them. And they would comply because fruit snacks are delicious.

I don’t see how anyone could possibly feel sad, upset, angry or depressed while eating fruit snacks. So if you’re feeling a little low, I recommend you run out and buy some immediately. These smiley face fruit snacks from Walmart are a good choice.


Mar 10

Mr Nethead Builds A Sandwich

I arrived home from a long day of work just a short time ago. Feeling hungry, I decided it would be in my best interest to build a delicious sandwich. I started with two slices of bread.


My favourite bread is Sara Lee 100% Whole Wheat with Honey. Luckily, that’s the very bread I had on hand.


No that’s not mustard. I hate mustard. That’s genuine old fashioned Wisconsin cheese spread. Mmmm. I slathered some on both slices of bread. Then it was time to add meat.


Hillshire Farms Honey Roasted Turkey is my favourite sandwich meat ever! I also decided to throw on some Hormel turkey pepperonis. (I know, I know, that’s a lot of turkey.)


Here we see that the sandwich is nearly complete. Now all we need to do is put both sides together.


Ta da! It’s a delicious sandwich indeed. *eats sandwich* For best results, enjoy with an ice cold Sunkist Lemonade.

Mar 10



Say hello to my empty Mountain Dew bottle. Just moments ago, this bottle was full and brimming with energy and life. And then it was poured down the mouth of a man desperately seeking to quench his thirst.

The future of this bottle, whom I shall call Dewey, is bleak. In a short time Dewey will be carelessly cast into a large recycling dumpster where he will lay in the cold, damp, darkness for days. 

After a few days pass, a large truck will come and fetch Dewey and all of his recyclable friends. He will be taken to a processing plant where he will be bathed in harsh chemicals. He will then be crushed, smashed, shredded to bits and melted until Dewey is no longer even a bottle.

Farewell Dewey. I’d wish you well, but we all know that won’t do any good.

Mar 10

Why Yes, That Is A Pot

Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great joy and excitement that I introduce you to the latest member of my kitchen; this pot.


This pot and I will make many memories together over the coming months and years. Although the sticker on the pot called it a “stew pot”, I find it highly unlikely that I will actually prepare stew in it. I don’t really care for stew too much since it usually contains vegetables.


The pot was on sale for only $11 at Shopko and even came with a lid! I’m very excited.

Mar 10

Strawberry Chocolate Milk!

Chocolate milk is delicious. Strawberry milk is delicious as well. But what if we made strawberry chocolate milk? Would that also be delicious? There’s only one way to find out.


Earlier today I gathered the necessary ingredients; milk, strawberry Nesquik, and chocolate Nesquik. I poured a nice tall glass of cold refreshing milk.


I added a spoonful of strawberry Nesquik.


I added a spoonful of chocolate Nesquik.


After stirring the mixture well, this is what I had.


It was very very tasty!

Mar 10

A Wonderful Relationship


Well today I had the pleasure of activating a new credit card. It’s not as though I actually needed a new card, but this one offered some nice rewards and 0% APR for 12 months.

Activating credit cards is always fun. Sure, they could easily activate our cards without the use of live operators, but if they did that they couldn’t offer us their extra services.

The CS rep I talked today had all her lines down perfectly. “How can I help you today, Samuel? May I call you Samuel?”

“Yes, that’s fine. I need to activate my card.”

“Oh you’ve just joined us! We’re going to have a wonderful relationship together.”

That seemed a little over the top and maybe a bit too friendly, if you know what I mean. *eyes her suspiciously*

“Okay sir, your card is now activated and ready for use! Now allow me to tell you about our identity theft monitoring program. We’re very proud of our program and you won’t believe the price!”

She continued on and on for a couple minutes. At that point I’m not even paying attention to what she’s saying. And then she says, “Now let’s get you signed up, okay?”

“No. I don’t think so.” I reply.

“Oh, are you sure, sir? It’s really a very wonderful program and we’re very proud of it.” She continues to blabber on for a couple more minutes. “Now, let’s get you signed up, okay?”

“No. I don’t think so.” I told her again.

She seemed disappointed. “Okay sir. Have I answered all of your questions today?”

“Uh… yeah.” I replied. It seemed a bit odd for her to ask me that since I didn’t actually have any questions. I just wanted to activate my card. Heh.

“Okay, sir. You have a nice day.”

“You too.”

“Thank you, sir.”

And now I guess that “wonderful relationship” begins.

Mar 10

Midweek Thoughts – Part 12


So they passed the health care bill. This so-called “affordable” health care is only going to cost me a few thousand dollars a year. (Actually probably between $2,000 and $4,000.) But I guess it works out nice for you poor people who get subsidies that will cover your insurance. As for me, I’ll probably be poor like you after I pay for my insurance seeing as I get barely any subsidies and can’t really afford to pay full price.

Oh well, I guess I can cut my grocery bill by only eating ramen noodles and white bread. I’m sure I’ll be quite sick within a few years from the unhealthy diet, but at least I’ll have health insurance to pay for my hospital stays!

In happier news, the weather has been gorgeous lately. I look forward to going for nice long walks so I can shed the winter blubber I gained over the last few months. Although… this warmer weather does put me in the mood for ice cream. Hmmm, losing my blubber could be tougher than I originally anticipated.

Blubber is a funny word. So is awkward. My favourite thing about the word “awkward” is that it actually looks awkward. Heh. I would make a list of funny words if I could think of more, but I can’t seem to at the moment.

I think it would be sorta neat to live on a houseboat. If I ever got sick of living somewhere I could just sail to another shore. That would be pretty convenient. Plus, if my neighbours were ever annoying me, I could set out to sea for a bit and get away from ‘em. Yes, the more I think about this, the better the idea sounds.

Mar 10

Bacon Stuff has all sorts of fun bacon items you can buy. Such as:


A bacon scented air freshener!


Bacon flavored jelly beans!


Bacon lip balm!


Bacon mints!


Bacon bandages!


Bacon wallet!

There’s other fun bacon items at Amazon too. Items such as gummy bacon, bacon gumballs, bacon flavored floss, bacon lollipops,  and perhaps the weirdest bacon item of them all, bacon. (in bit form.)


Mar 10

Facebook’s Top News

Facebook recently changed their layout. Among the changes was the addition of a “Top News” feed. So here’s what I learned from today’s Top News on Facebook.

Victoria and Becky commented on Renee’s status.

Becky has moved up to level 39 in Farmville.

Amber commented on her own status.

Sonny commented on Anna G’s status.

Heather commented on Kevin’s status.

Anna M is craving Girl Scout cookies.

Anna G and Sonny commented on Hannah’s status.

Tyler commented on his own status.

Julie commented on her own photo.

Sarah thinks Dr Seuss rocks.

Kevin posted a photo mocking the Obama White House.

Nathaniel has decided that the Farmville stallions are gay.

Kevin and 5 other friends commented on Tonita’s status.

Anna G is excited about the sun shining.

Laura is giving away gold in Farmville to celebrate St Patrick’s Day.

Matt has loaded the majority of his CDs into his iTunes library.

Heather wishes she had the week off.

As I’m sure you all can see, the Top News on Facebook is very very exciting. I for one, wish to thank Facebook from the top of my heart.