November, 2010


9
Nov 10

Complaint Box!

complaintbox.

Here’s a product that will come in handy at any corporation large or small. Have a complaint? Simply deposit it in the box. Do not be alarmed by the grinding sound. It only means the box is processing your complaint in a fast and efficient manner.


4
Nov 10

Why I Write

As I tossed and turned in my bed last night, I’m pretty sure that I wrote an entire book in my mind. I’m sure I’ve done the same thing hundreds if not thousands of times throughout my life. You see, I’m  a chronic thinker. My brain just never shuts off.

When we ponder what could have been written, and compare it to what actually has been written, we can begin to see just how amazing the written word is. Everyone has thoughts. If everyone had the knowledge and ability to write down their thoughts we would all be capable of writing books. But the vast majority of the thoughts we think every day simply fall by the wayside. It’s a pity really. One can only wonder how many nuggets of brilliance have been lost over the millennia.

Ordinarily, when you think a thought it will dissipate like smoke into thin air. When you write, you can go back whenever you like and see what you were thinking at specific times in your life. You can share what you write with others. You can blog it or write a book. It’s an extraordinary thing, for when you write, your thoughts live on.

And that is why I write. 


3
Nov 10

Psalm 67

So the other night I was lying awake in bed and worrying about finances and other such things. As I laid there, suddenly the words “Psalm 67” popped into my mind. So I opened the Bible to Psalm 67 and this is what I read:

“God be merciful unto us, and bless us; and cause his face to shine upon us; Selah. That thy way may be known upon earth, thy saving health among all nations. Let the people praise thee, O God; let all the people praise thee. O let the nations be glad and sing for joy: for thou shalt judge the people righteously, and govern the nations upon earth. Selah. Let the people praise thee, O God; let all the people praise thee. Then shall the earth yield her increase; and God, even our own God, shall bless us. God shall bless us; and all the ends of the earth shall fear him.”

I felt so much better after reading that. I soon fell asleep.


3
Nov 10

Midweek Thoughts – Part 29

midweekthoughts

Welcome to another exciting installment of Midweek Thoughts! I’m your host, Mr Nethead.

You know there are a lot of restaurants out there that will serve you a burger. Most of the restaurants will serve you a beef burger, and a few of them will serve you a turkey burger, but I’ve never seen one that will serve you a chicken burger. What a shame! Chicken burgers are tasty.

Speaking of chicken, I’m a little upset with my sister Becky for telling me about the squalid kitchen conditions at our local KFC. I used to eat there a couple times a week but now I can’t because I know how disgusting it is back there! She already took the A&W restaurant in Waupun away from me. If I get reports of other fast food joints in the area being unclean too, I’m gonna have to start taking a sack lunch to work!

I’ve been accused by some folks of talking about food a little too much. Frankly I don’t understand the complaint. Food is a universal topic. Besides, it’s not like I only talk about food! I also talk about beverages sometimes.

You know what’s delicious? Vanilla Coke. I remember a few years back when they were going to take Vanilla Coke off the market. I went to the store and bought as much of the stuff as I could get. My beautiful tower of Vanilla Coke was about fifteen 12-packs high. It was quite a sight indeed.

I’m just glad they saw the error of their ways and brought the stuff back. A world without Vanilla Coke is just too… well… vanilla.

I’ll be thirty years old in a few years. I’m pretty excited about it. It means I’ll soon be old enough to have my midlife crisis! I wanna do something awesome like sail around the world in a balloon. I bet I could sail around the whole world in just 80 days!

Ah yes, my midlife crisis is going to be great.


2
Nov 10

SpamBox – Part 1

spam

Receiving junk email has become an unfortunate part of the online experience over the years. Spam email is annoying and stupid. However, every now and then I get a spam message that makes me laugh just because it’s so incredibly ridiculous. I’ve decided to share a couple examples today so we can all have a laugh together. Welcome to the very first edition of SpamBox.

“Greetings from Mr. Maxwell Kofi,

Best Compliments.

It’s my pleasure to contact you for a business venture which I intend to establish in your country.Though we have not meet face to face before but i am very confident that we will be able to establish the necessary trust that we need to execute this project together. I am Mr. Maxwell Kofi. The chairman, Contract-Awarding Committee of the Economic Community of West African states (ECOWAS) with its fund headquarters in Accra Ghana.

We wish to transfer the sum of $USD 25.5, 000,000.00 (Twenty Five Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only).Into your personal or company’s bank account and subsequent investment of same in lucrative ventures in your country. There are no risks involved. More details about the transaction will be given to you when I receive affirmative response from you with your mobile phone number.

God bless you and direct you on this subject.

Mr. Maxwell Kofi”

The above spam message was pretty run-of-the-mill. I was just amused by the dude’s name. I imagine he was probably looking at a can of Maxwell House Coffee when he coined his moniker. *chuckles quietly to self*

“Promo!!!

You Have Won 750,000GBPS and a Dell Laptop on the Irish End of Year Promo 2010. Confirm the receipt of this mail by Sending your Name,Age,Occupation,Address,Country and Tel To Dr.Bell Brown (Tel:+447035994209) Via Email at irishclaimsunit@live.com

Note: All response and Queries concerning your claims should be sent via email at irishclaimsunit@live.com

Online Cordinator.
Terry Mazzei”

Wow, I’ve won an Irish prize! Yes, this message looks totally legit. Not only have I won 750,000 British Pounds, I’ve also won a free Dell laptop! I guess if I add that money to the other $25 million from that Maxwell guy, I’ll be set for life! Hooray!

Spam photo provided by freezelight on Flickr.