The Eat and Sleep Diet

garfield-sleeping

Are you overweight? If you live in the United States there’s a pretty good chance of it. Well I’m here today to tell you about an exciting new diet. It’s called the Eat and Sleep Diet.

Did you know that your body  burns calories constantly – even when you sleep? Well now you can take advantage of that! The concept of this diet is quite simple; you sleep your fat away!

Please note that this diet works best for those who do not have a steady job. Luckily, thanks to the strong leadership of Barack Obama, approximately 10% of the American workforce is perfectly suited for it.

Step 1: Sleep through breakfast and lunch. This step is the key! It’s generally best to arise between 1 and 2pm.  You won’t consume any calories during those pesky breakfast and lunch hours.

Step 2: Eat a candy bar upon waking to hold you over until dinner time.

Step 3: Watch TV, play video games, or use the Internet for a few hours.

Step 4: Eat a nice 1200 calorie dinner at 5pm.

Step 5: Watch TV, play video games, or use the Internet for the next three hours.

Step 6: Have a nice 300 calorie snack at 8pm. (A brownie would be a good choice.)

Step 7: Watch TV, play video games, or use Facebook for several hours.

Step 8: Go to bed between 1 and 3am and proceed to sleep for 12 hours straight.

And that’s all there is to it! So what are you waiting for?

FINE PRINT: FOLLOWING THIS DIET WILL BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. Side effects may include muscle atrophy and an angry significant other.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

60 comments

  1. cours sante et securite au travail apchq cours sante et securite au
    travail apchq acheter clomipramine sans ordonnance cours sante et securite au travail apchq
    cours sante et securite au travail apchq

  2. Ⅽongratulations! Your Wіndows 10 Doᴡnload Iso Is About To Stop Being Relevant

    Feel free too visit my pɑge: porn movie

  3. It’s not my first time to visit this web page, i am visiting this
    site dailly and take fastidious data from here everyday.

  4. Aw, this was an exceptionally good post.
    Taking a few minutes and actual effort to make a superb article…
    but what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot and don’t seem to get
    anything done.

  5. Thanks for any other excellent article. The place else could anybody get that kind of information in such
    a perfect approach of writing? I’ve a presentation subsequent week, and I’m on the look for such info.

  6. With havin so much written content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement?
    My website has a lot of unique content I’ve either written myself or outsourced but
    it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet
    without my authorization. Do you know any methods to help reduce content from
    being stolen? I’d really appreciate it.

  7. My family always say that I am killing my time here at web, however I know
    I am getting experience everyday by reading such fastidious articles.

  8. Currently it sounds like Movable Type is the preferred blogging platform available
    right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what
    you are using on your blog?

  9. Excellent pieces. Keep posting such kind of info on your blog.

    Im really impressed by it.
    Hey there, You have done a fantastic job. I will definitely digg it and in my opinion suggest to my friends.
    I am sure they will be benefited from this web site.

  10. Greate pieces. Keep writing such kind of information on your
    blog. Im really impressed by your site.
    Hi there, You have performed a great job. I’ll definitely digg it and in my view
    recommend to my friends. I am confident they’ll be benefited
    from this web site.

Leave a comment