I Was A Weird Kid

I was a weird kid. On one occasion, I decided I wanted to eat a bowl of cereal. But unfortunately on that day we had no milk. We did, however, have root beer. I’ll let you guess how that turned out.

Sometimes I would take a pile of cheese, put it in a bowl, melt it in the microwave and then eat it with a spoon. I guess I’ve always been a true Wisconsinite at heart.

I would go to great lengths not to eat my vegetables. Sometimes I would hide them under the napkin, or stuff my peas into holes in the chairs’ upholstery. I even buried peas in the backyard once just to avoid eating them.  (I really hated peas.)

Of course, sometimes I couldn’t get out of it. One night I prayed and asked God to make the vegetable beef soup I was about to eat “not taste bad.” It kinda worked, as the soup wasn’t as horrible as I had expected it to be.

Of course, every now and then I would try to eat healthier. One day I told my mom I was going to go to the grocery store to buy an orange. But when I got there the oranges didn’t look very good. So naturally I bought a doughnut instead. My mom wasn’t happy.

By the way, not only was I a weird kid, I was also a fat kid.

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