A Special Announcement!


I’ve decided to quit my job and move to Oregon. I’ve already withdrawn my entire life savings so I can rent a building and operate a homemade gumball shop. These special gumballs will be sugar-free. Sure, there’s lots of sugar-free gum out there, but not a lot of sugar-free gumballs, so I think this a big internationally neglected market.

I know things may be tough for a while before my business turns profitable. However, I have several ideas to save money. I’ll live above the store. I’ll give up such luxury items as deodorant. I’ll shower every two weeks if I can afford it.

My napkins will be supplied by local fast food restaurants. To save money, those napkins will also double as toilet paper. For food, I’ll make homemade tomato soup out of ketchup packets. If I’m feeling extravagant, I may splurge on white bread and ramen noodles.

I know this is a risky venture, but I feel that eventually I will make millions selling my special sugar-free gumballs. I anxiously await my happy future.

One comment

  1. Oh, Sam…you prankster!

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