Posts Tagged: TV

Jan 10

Oh Conan, I Will Miss You


If NBC wants to make money and have high ratings, they should sacrifice their dignity and just let Conan O’Brien mock them every night. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen funnier television.

Here’s a quote from last night’s show:

“Everyone watch the Golden Globes last night? Did you see that? Last night at the Golden Globes, Julia Roberts said that NBC was in the toilet. Yeah, NBC was upset, and toilets were furious.”

And then there was Conan’s awesome song.

“”This is true. It’s been widely reported that I can’t say anything negative about the network. Luckily folks, they’re not saying I can’t sing anything negative about the network.” And then he sung, “Morons. Incompetent Morons. These people are morons. La-dee-dee-dee.”

Apparently nobody has uploaded that clip to Youtube yet, which is unfortunate since it’s much funnier if you can actually watch it. I did find it on a website, which doesn’t allow embedding, so here’s the link:

Conan O’Brien has always been funny. But when he has nothing to lose and can just cut loose and say whatever he wants, he just might be the funniest man alive.

Anyway, if you haven’t seen it yet, I suggest you head over to and watch last night’s episode. (Available until February 11, 2010.) I can’t help but wonder how NBC feels when they’re uploading Conan’s videos. Heh.

UPDATE: The clip is now available on Youtube, so I have embedded it below. Enjoy!

Jan 10

A More Efficient Way to Watch TV


I enjoy watching TV shows. I just don’t like watching them on TV. In my mind, this is an extremely inefficient way to take in entertainment. They feed you a little piece of a story every week, and show commercials every few minutes. It’s sort of like having a pie. The pie has been cut into 18 pieces. You’re then given one tiny piece of pie every week. Sure, it lasts a long time, but it’s not very satisfying.

I became a Netflix member in 2004. Since then, I’ve watched thousands of movies and TV show episodes. Netflix provides an easy and efficient way to watch TV. Rather than tuning in each week for a show, I can watch an entire season at my own pace in a week or two.

And think of all the time I save not watching commercials! A 30 minute TV show usually has about 8 minutes of commercials. An hour long program generally has a whopping 18 minutes of ad time. If you watch a show on DVD instead, that is nearly an hour of saved time for every three episodes! (The hour long shows become 42 minutes.)

Sometimes I go on very long TV show streaks with my Netflix account. In fact, I haven’t received a movie from them since September. However, I have watched various shows since that time including, House MD, Criminal Minds, The Unit, Life, Numb3rs, Heroes, and The Big Bang Theory.

That TV show streak will come to an end on Monday when I receive Star Trek from Netflix, which oddly enough, is a movie based on a TV show.

Jan 10

The Eat and Sleep Diet


Are you overweight? If you live in the United States there’s a pretty good chance of it. Well I’m here today to tell you about an exciting new diet. It’s called the Eat and Sleep Diet.

Did you know that your body  burns calories constantly – even when you sleep? Well now you can take advantage of that! The concept of this diet is quite simple; you sleep your fat away!

Please note that this diet works best for those who do not have a steady job. Luckily, thanks to the strong leadership of Barack Obama, approximately 10% of the American workforce is perfectly suited for it.

Step 1: Sleep through breakfast and lunch. This step is the key! It’s generally best to arise between 1 and 2pm.  You won’t consume any calories during those pesky breakfast and lunch hours.

Step 2: Eat a candy bar upon waking to hold you over until dinner time.

Step 3: Watch TV, play video games, or use the Internet for a few hours.

Step 4: Eat a nice 1200 calorie dinner at 5pm.

Step 5: Watch TV, play video games, or use the Internet for the next three hours.

Step 6: Have a nice 300 calorie snack at 8pm. (A brownie would be a good choice.)

Step 7: Watch TV, play video games, or use Facebook for several hours.

Step 8: Go to bed between 1 and 3am and proceed to sleep for 12 hours straight.

And that’s all there is to it! So what are you waiting for?

FINE PRINT: FOLLOWING THIS DIET WILL BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. Side effects may include muscle atrophy and an angry significant other.

Jan 10

Hello 2010!

It’s a new year. But it’s not just a new year, it’s a new decade. It’s a time for fresh starts, new beginnings, hope for the future and of course some New Year’s Resolutions!

Now most people tend to set unrealistic goals, and because of that, give up on their resolutions by mid-February. I’m not going to to do that though. I intend to pace myself with a nice set of goals that I really feel I have a good chance of keeping.

In 2010 I resolve to:

Continue not smoking. That’s right, I have never smoked in my life. Do I feel tempted to do so? Not at all. Thus, this goal is a perfect New Year’s resolution.

Continue enjoying my recliner. My recliner is something special. It reclines very far. It’s very comfortable. I can sit in it for hours on end and my butt doesn’t even complain!

Watch more TV. I’m paying $135 a month for cable. But between Netflix, Facebook, my computers, Wii, PS3 and texting my friends, there just doesn’t seem to be enough time to watch TV!

Eat cookies. I love cookies. I intend to eat many in 2010! Are you going to eat cookies in 2010? If not, you’re a weirdo and I’m not sure that I’m comfortable being around you.

Eat a carrot. It will be tough, but I think I can do it.

See a squirrel scampering about during the summer time. I might even wave and say, “Hi squirrel!”

Listen to music. Hey, I’m listening to music right now. That means I’ve already kept this resolution. I am awesome!

Practice making the letter Z in cursive. That’s a tough one, especially if it’s a capital Z.

Place 50 orders at I placed 42 in 2009. Here’s an interesting tidbit; 2002 was the first year I ordered from Amazon. I had 4 orders that year.

Eat PopChips every month this year. Mmmm… PopChips.

Wow, making this list of resolutions was a lot of hard work. I think I will go reward myself with cookies… and PopChips… Mmmm.